Q: So, why do you wanna work here?

A: No cap, I was doomscrolling at 3AM and your job post popped up like a rare Pokémon spawn—insta-vibes. The logo’s kinda bussin’, the role screams “main quest,” and honestly, I’m tryna secure the bag and maybe snag some free snacks. Also, y’all got dental? That’s a hard yes from me, chief’y.

Q: How would your squad describe you?

A: Certified “group chat goblin.” I’m the Bart Simpson of the team—always up to something, but somehow the glue holding the chaos together. If Notion templates had a personality disorder, that’s me. My aura? Chaotic neutral with Sakamoto-level smoothness when it counts. They say I’m “chronically online but lowkey wholesome,” which, like, valid.

Q: Tell me about a time you faced a challenge at work.

A: Bet. My WiFi went full potato-mode mid-Zoom, and I froze like a Sims character stuck in debug mode. Hit ‘em with the “sorry, WiFi’s on vibes only” and came back with a meme recap. Turned a hard L into a soft W. Adapt, improvise, overcome, slay—Sun Tzu, probably.

Q: When you’re in work mode, what’s your most OP (overpowered) trait?

A: I’m basically Sakamoto from Sakamoto Days—unbothered, always five steps ahead, and making chaos look smooth. If the team’s on fire, I’m Shinra from Fire Force—zipping around, turning panic into productivity. And if the vibes are off, I just go full Gudetama: chill, unbothered, but still getting it done. Sometimes I’m Homer Simpson—clueless at first, but always landing on my feet (with a donut and a meme ready to drop).

Q: And what’s your most “oops, I did it again” trait?

A: Lowkey, I’m Bart Simpson in the back row—locked in one minute, then deep in an anime meme thread the next. I overcommit to side quests like Okarun from Dandadan—down for anything, but sometimes my brain gets soft-locked by random “extraterrestrial” tasks. Also, I channel Cinnamoroll energy: super cute, friendly, but will absolutely disappear for a snack break and come back with existential questions about AI.

Q: Where do you see yourself in five years?

A: Manifesting “Senior Vibe Curator.” Maybe running a side hustle selling ironic tote bags. Still moisturized, unbothered, thriving. If all else fails, meme page admin with a pet gecko named Mr. Worldwide and a killer skincare routine. Or maybe I’ll soft-launch my own AI sidekick—depends if the algorithm’s feeling generous. You know, palm trees, cocktails, chick’s, experiences.

Q: How do you stay motivated?

A: I gaslight myself into productivity—“just five more minutes, bestie”—and suddenly it’s three hours later and I’ve finished everything. Digital sticker charts, random snack breaks, and the threat of public shame in the group chat keep me going. Basically, I’m a Tamagotchi with WiFi and chronic impostor syndrome.

Q: How do you handle feedback?

A: I eat feedback like it’s Hot Cheetos—painful but kinda addictive. I’ll spiral for a sec, cry in Canva, then bounce back with a Notion doc and a 3-point action plan. Critique me, but make it constructive and maybe send a meme after so I know we’re still vibing.

Q: How do you deal with pressure?

A: First I panic, then I over-plan, then I slay. It’s the holy trinity. Add a lo-fi playlist and a random Pinterest quote I don’t believe in, and suddenly I’m Elon M but with boundaries and better hair.

Q: How do we motivate you?

A: Easy—digital gold stars, random pizza parties, and a Slack channel for unhinged memes. Tell me “first one to finish gets to leave early” and I’ll speedrun my tasks like it’s Mario Kart Rainbow Road. Surprise me with a new office plant and I’ll be loyal forever.

Q: What demands do you have for the team/commands, if any?

A: Three things:

• Vibe checks before meetings (no negative energy, pls).
• At least one chaotic good energy teammate who unironically says “slay.”
• A Slack channel for cursed memes and existential screaming.
• Also, can we normalize voice notes instead of emails? My thumbs are tired, bestie.

Q: What knowledge do you have about artificial intelligence, and how do you see it develop—happy or more scared?

A: I’m on that ChatGPT grind daily—sometimes I forget if I’m talking to a bot or my own intrusive thoughts. AI’s got main character energy now, but it’s giving “potential robot overlord” vibes. Am I hyped? Yeah, but also, lowkey scared it’ll steal my memes and my job. So, cautiously optimistic but ready to throw hands with a Roomba if it gets spicy.

Q: Can you define your behavior at work, and what if we hold a Friday bar—are you a quiet one or the party guy?

A: At work, I’m “organized chaos”—hyper-productive but will drop a random “y’all ever think about the void?” just to keep things spicy. At Friday bar, I’m either starting the karaoke battle or lurking at the snack table, judging your drink choices. I oscillate between “wallflower with main character energy” and “unlicensed hype man.” Depends if the playlist is playlisting and if the vibes are immaculate.

Q: Any questions for us?

A: Yeah, real talk: what’s the meme-to-email ratio here? Are we allowed to soft-launch our pets on company Slack? And if I name the printer “Chad,” is that chill or nah? Also, is there a nap room or do we just vibe through the exhaustion? Bonus: what’s the official stance on bringing emotional support water bottles to meetings?